Archive for December, 2008

On the Same Page

December 14, 2008

mark-foleyWhile watching the Chargers and the Chiefs wind up their 22-21 epic battle, the announcer talked about Phillip Rivers not being “on the same page” with the rest of the team.  Not only did I  see no book, I saw only players and refs, no pages  of any description on the field.

On the same page?  Sounds like a weekend at former Rep. Mark Foley’s bedroom.

Chiefs’ field goal?  no good.  Now lets see what the Steelers have for the Ravens.

Cheney Shoots Ducks: Bush Ducks Shoes

December 14, 2008

dubarry-cruiser-deck-shoeBaghdad.  Demonstrating the fastest footwork since he pardoned Scooter Libby, W. was pelted with size 10 shoe leather from a local TV reporter.

Now, all press conference reporters will look like  the line at a TSA inspection station, shoeless.  May we recommend nude too?

Oprah 200

December 9, 2008

fatoprah-winfrey1I heard  it today.  While ranting against everything Chicago and Illinois-political, Rush tossed some tartar sauce on Oprah, criticizing her for a 20 lb gain, swelling her to a fully even 200, give or take a gingersnap or so.  Why mention it, carped Rush, who never does…mention it, that is.

Just don’t step into a Rush-Oprah occupied elevator without checking that little card giving the weight rating and making sure it’s over 600 lbs.  Unless you’re in Chicago, where the inspector is no doubt on the tab.

In a whiplash-inducing change of subject, Rush detailed the bad boy state politicos of the past few years, Spitzer, McGreevey – outed on moral problems, not corruption – he blithely lumped in the jailed Ill. governors – all Repubs – which he dismissed as “part of the same machine.”

And what machine is that?  The Rush gotcha machine, which manufactures Repubs into Dem-like beings once they’re caught.

It’s not what Rush sez, it’s how he sez it.

…But Rush Promised!!!

December 8, 2008

page42_blog_entry273_1To Democrats anxiously awaiting an Obama administration…”you’ll have your culture of death…” – just be patient.

But Rush, we can’t wait.  Any candidates volunteeri

The Hillatorium – the Clinton Presidential Museum

December 7, 2008

clintonYou may have heard of her.  Senator Hillary Clinton (D-NY) ran for the prexy job, got overshadowed by Obama and took a pretty good consolation prize, Sec of State and now has something brand new on her agenda…the Hillary Clinton Presidential Museum, the first one to be established for a not-even nominee, much less a defeated also-ran like Al, Kerry or Barry.

The theory here is once a museum is funded, named and built, the necessary election is almost a given.  Imagine an Adlai Stevenson or Hubert Humphrey Presidential Museum without the participation of the man in the office.  Can’t be done.

Not so for Hillary.  Though never elected, she overshadowed the election.  An early front runner, she paced the race, brought in ex-prexy Bill to jargonistically set the table with some outstandingly pithy comments that pithed off  Edwards, Kucinich and Richardson, all of whom and more decided to drop out, rather than satisfy the Bill.  Edwards got caught dallying in a parking barn, Richardson grew a beard and Kucinich returned to Cleveland.

That leaves us in debt to Hillary for our current prexy-elect, which means she has become bigger than the office, thus the name…the Bigger Than The Office of Presidential Hillary Clinton Library, which should overshadow a entire block of Little Rock or even a Rocky Balboa Island.

Gas Bags

December 7, 2008

With Rush’s designation as an official Superfund site, came word from Congress how this designation was obtained.  Here’s how the very presence of Rush on this planet affects our daily life.

Over 70% percent of total area is potentially lethal gas, something heard weekdays on the EIB (Environmentally Incendiary Broadcasting) Nework.

In Sacramento, where Rush worked in the 80s, since his leaving, the city has suffered some potentially serious consquences.  The levee system is in danger and much of the city might be flooded.  His very presence acted as ballast between the city and the water, and just as when a large quantity of any material – gas, oil, coal – is removed, something else, in this case water, rushes in to fill the void…the Rush void.

New York City faces similar danger.  In a portion of the Baba Wahwah interview not shown (why?), Rush moans that when he steps foot in Manhattan, city officials tend to panic.  This is understandable.  After all, it was ex-Mayor Rudy Genreich (Rudy Tutti Fresh & Frutti) who took credit for cleaning up New York Harbor at the First Annual Sarah Palin and Republican Convention, so they would naturally wish to levy a large tax on such a mobile toxic site entering the city limit line; at least they have their limits.154

OJ Simpson Visits Rush’s Superfund Site

December 6, 2008

20070623-oj_if_i_did_it1Now,  it can be told…Rush Limbaugh has pocketed the millions spent by the govt. to clean up his own mouth-caused Superfund site.  And he thinks he deserves the dough on accouta having a large and loyal audience.

Whence loyal audiences?  Dog pounds for one.  They never question, though they can sometimes be vicious if the wrong one is selected out.

Large audiences?

OJ had a very happy huge audience the other day, mandating a serious payout, but as normal, OJ played his Vegas-dealt hand all wrong.  If you get up to speak, you don’t do it for five or ten minutes.

Blab on, and on, blab some more…”it all started, your honor, when I was in my mother’s womb…I believe it was a Friday…” and then just keep talking.

They say the reason that during a police pursuit, the suspect’s car doesn’t pull over right away is the suspect realizes for every second he’s out driving, is another second he’s not in the slam.

Same deal for OJ.  Every minute blabbing about this and that, that and this, childhood, friends, friend’s childhoods, children’s friends, property, cops, judges, lawyers, golf, search for murderers, the golddiggers – his term – murder victims and murders, kidnappers and pistol packing partners, sports collectors, Hertz dealers and everything else that crosses his excuse for a mind is another minute he doesn’t have to spend in the slam.

By speaking for five minutes, he wasn’t behind those bars for those very five minutes.  Had he talked for hours, days, months….you get the idea…a continuous block of word-like sounds…and who would want to shut him up? The jduge?  An instant mistrial.  He would be spending all of those minutes not in a cell…and spend enough time yakking away and in about 16 years, you’ve done your time and never left the courtroom.

Sort of like Congress on a good fillibuster day without the politcal edge.  But nooo, he had to let it go after five minutes.

Which Rush will never do, letting nary an inane comment wane away unbroached, earning him a Superfund Man of the Year citation.

OJ?  Super fiend of the year and that was his best year, when he was a killing machine, which broke down on the first floor of a seedy Vegas hotel stopping him in his relentless search for the “real killer.”

And how will he spend his NFL pension in the slam?  Once it gets banked, do the Goldmans get the proceeds from the account?

Has Rush Already Become Mt. Rushmore?

December 6, 2008

rush_shakes_bigTo paraphrase the old quote about Mohammed going to the mountain, as recently viewed on Baba Wahwah’s “Most Fascinating Mouths Of 2008” (ABC-TV), Rush is nearing the 400 lb minimum necessary to be declared a Superfund mountain of toxic waste, which matches the superfunds his syndicator already forks out onto Rush’s super dinner plate.

From the press release comes this:

With the Heather Locklear stone deafness device implanted in his temple,  his stoniness moves him closer to the status of a mammal-based Mt. Rushmore (Rush being the identifier; more being the description as in “more sausage, meat and more meat…after all, they are my sponsor.  Let’s divvy up those Kobe beef patties so I can eat twice as much.”)

Oh yeah, about the new Bush-era Depression, Rush shrugged it off by saying “I chose not to participate in that…I’d rather choose Kobe beef” (the new “let them eat cake”), tho there’s an apparent cake walk on the right side of Mt. Rush, the slogan of which will be:   “let me eat Kobe!”  Bryant could not be reached for comment.

Rush “It Was I”

December 4, 2008

6095tQuoting the title of a major 1959 hit by Skip & Flip, Rush reaffirmed the identity of the center of the known universe, “It Was I.”  This might come as a surprise to Gary Paxton, one time liaison to Tammy Faye Baker, who sang on the tune, just as he did on Alley Oop…”look at that Rushbo go…”

Earlier, El Rushbo commented on the GM Volt, which transported that corp’s (which might soon become a real corporate corpse) CEO to DC to wheedle, beg and otherwise collect a big federal payout.

Rush then ridiculed electric cars for their lack of getaway potential, bringing the NFL and guns into the scenario, outstripping this very site for lack of coherence.

Then it was on to the how-your-car-is-your-identity argument, concepts like “wouldn’t be caught dead in a (fill in your model)” and green leisure suits as an image in which not to be caught dead.  A cool car or an electric car?  Why buy a Hummer if you can have a real Humvee? Now there’s your image.

Speaking of volts, is Rush’s Oxycontin supply running low…see his four sick days…though there are alternate ways of getting a needed stimulus package.

Once again, stealing from this very site, Rush recommended Obama for a Mt. Rushmore vacancy, then went on to claim his center-of-universe status, quoting Baba Wahwah, Joy Behar and Mika  Brezinski.

Murder and Public Access

December 4, 2008

nunez_webIn 2007, California Assembly Speaker Fabian Nunez, a Democrat, single handedly pushed thru a bill that resulted in the death of public access – a service that allowed common citizens to have their own TV shows on cable TV.  Now according to the L.A. Times, access producers in Los Angeles are responding with some effectiveness that just might save access, considering Councilman Bill Rosedahl got his stripes in this very industry.  In other communities, Lakewood, Downey, Los Alamitos, access has been spiked with few objections, meaning the real opportunity for local expression can be killed with no real outrage.

In a related story…

In December 2008, Estaban Nunez, son of the aforementioned speaker was accused of a stabbing, which resulted in a real death of a student in San Diego.   Nunez’s feelings were hurt because he’d been kicked out of a fraternity party.  So he was said to have pulled a knife…post-rejection.,,and caused a hurt of a different color.

Nunez, freshly out of office, was reporedly upset over the boy’s claim his old man could get him and his gangbanger friends – THC – off the hook.  He only wants Estaban off the hook, his THC friends can fry.  Whether that happens remains to be seen, however there will be no opportunity for access producers to comment on this case.