Archive for the ‘alaska’ Category

Incredibly Valuable

November 26, 2008

Today, El Rush-Bo described Sarah Palin as “incredibly valuable,” though he didn’t set a dollar price.  Also, per Rush, it’s not the turkey execution business, but the turkey slaughter business, one of just many businesses government “should get out of the way of.”

When it comes to those slaughter tubs, getting out of the way seems to be the way to go…especially if you’ve got feathers and gobble a lot.

But back to the value of a Palin, in a world of getting out of the way of the turkey slaughter biz, I’d say it’s something like this.  How many turkeys can you stuff in a tub over the time it takes for her to speak of her philosophy, multiply those minutes times the wholesale price of slaughtered turkeys, compound with the sense she makes and the stuffing the turkey takes and at least you have a per pound estimate.sarah-palin-turkey-video

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Pirates!

November 24, 2008

pirates1-736286Beating citibank to the punch, off the coast of Somalia, pirates have already created a bad bank, their stock rising; our domestic piracy leader of the week, citibank down to $3 and change from just under $10.

Somebody tell me, what Wall St. symbol are the pirates listed under?  They must be banking on some sort of rescue package, a literal lifesaver.  Put me down for 1,000 pirate shares and an oil tanker (with prices down to under $2 a gallon), I can trade in ten shares of citibank, fill my tank with my net losses with enough left over for Christmas with the pirate costume I ransomed  from a trick or treater who made off with all my milk duds in the perfect Halloween surprise.

As to pirate costumes, I milked those duds for all they were worth.  Milk maids a milking…what day of Christmas was that?  Seven days.  You could do more for a DUI…yi yi.   To quote Chuck Berry, I’m gonna give you thirty days until Christmas or three to go for Chuck’s namesake…cranberry…served up with this week’s headless (see Sarah Palin’s gobbler gestapo video) turkey, when the stock market shutters for one blessed day before the next blood bath in real blood.

Alaska…the new Somalia…the land for cold weather piracy and bloody turkey tubs.