Exclusive: Sarah Palin’s new gig

July 11, 2009

Politicx has learned that Fox News has been in negotiations for the new Palin’ Around With Palin show to replace the weak Huckabee show as a lead-in to Beck, not Glenn, the rock singer Beck…already Fox has signed off on a Fishin’ with Todd segment, but is reluctant to approve a Teen Tips by Bristol as possibly too edgy for the net’s demos.  Trig has yet to be tapped, tho he will be featured prominently in the opening montage.

Explainin’ Palin – Her Real Reasons For Quittin’ Derived From Her Own Speechifyin’

July 5, 2009

palin_rifle_bikini1Editors note:  These are the actual words of Sarah Palin in her resignation speech, her 3rd of July Independence Day.  There is a certain rhythm to her speech patterns that indicate which words apply, and this is the result of cracking her code, as it were.

Hi I serve faith and family nothing’s.  To grasp what placement on the globe in my soul means today is irresponsible for tomorrow.

We broke ground on the new prison to eliminate personal luxuries like the jet, the chef, the junkets… the entourage with an “all-knowing attitude”

I have taken the slings and arrows we’re forcing our children to pay as mandated in 10th amendment.  But you don’t hear much of the good stuff digging for a fish wearing a jacket with a logo on it

We’ve won! But it hasn’t been cheap.  two million of YOUR dollars to fund personal destruction draining public resources and it doesn’t cost a dime to work very hard on a path for dead fish.

Go with the flow as lame ducks travel around the state, to the Lower 48 (maybe), overseas on international trade, hit the road, draw the paycheck, and “milk it” without interruption and with great administrative and legislative success.

Through a full court press, protecting the ball, keeping her eye on the basket… she knows exactly when to pass the ball so that the team can disappoint anyone with my decision wasting public dollars and state time.

It was four “yes’s” and one “hell yeah!”  Some pretty mean-spirited adults on my parents’ refrigerator says “politics as usual” in a new direction.

In the words of General MacArthur said, “We are not retreating. We are advancing in another direction.”

Rush Quote Of the Day

June 11, 2009

Wonder if this will appear in his $6 per month subscription transcript?  While diatribing against the 2,000 plus state requirements of insurance companies to pay for areas of treatment, Rush stumbled and mumbled when he came to alcohol and drug ammummmbbbll,mmbl.  Apparently his Oxycontin rehab did not include a section about forcing your mouth to say … “Drug Abuse!!!!” for that’s what Rush needs to do, loud and clear – Rush, you can say it…”Drug Abuse!!!!” Well, maybe not.

As Tony Soprano’s shrink diagnosed, “it’s not what you say that’s true, it’s what you don’t say.”

Skeezix

June 9, 2009

SkeezixBill O’Reilly of the Factor on Fox News won’t mention Keith Olbermann by name other than citing MSNBC as a ratings loser.  Olbermann on the other hand is way too anxious to name O’Reilly – but with cute and not-so-cute nicknames in a feud O’Reilly refuses to acknowledge, by name at least (see the start of this intermidable sentence).

In this approximate order, Olberman has come up with Bill-O and Orally.  Neither of these were completely effective and MSNBC probably had problems with the implications of Orally.

So now, Olbermann has taken to naming him Skeezix, a leading character in the Gasoline Alley (GA) comic strip.  Probably another interim name until he comes up with a good one and GA decides not to object, because they shouldn’t sue, and who would they sue, Keith or Fox News’ own Skeezix?

Rush’s Quote Of the Day (CLFOOP)

June 8, 2009

Just as I tuned in, Rush referenced his own rather sizeable radio audience – “cult-like followers of one personality” (or person, your choice, taxes not included) – oh wait a sec, he was referring to President Obama – my mistake, you can appreciate the confusion.

Rush’s Relativism

June 3, 2009

Interviewed by his lap dog, Fox’s Hannity, Rush Limbaugh critiqued Sotomayor for her alleged racism, something he said he’d “overlook” if she came out on his side of Roe V. Wade.

So what would be acceptable for a Roe V. Wade-certified Supreme Ct. candidate?  A belief in Communism?  A belief in the Nazi rants of Adolf Hitler? An abiding belief in UFOs?  Devil worship?  Since Rush is now an admitted relativist, what is his ultimate critereon?

Oh yeah, he tried to tie Colin Powell into rehab, something Rush must know a lot about from his first person experience.  Go Rush!  Open mouth, out comes the bile.rush_limbaugh

Welcome To the Fairness Doctrine and the End Of Syndicated Radio And the End Of All Our Remaining Freedoms As A Sign Of the Impending Doomsday And Don’t Forget the Devil Who Is Clearly Nancy Pelosi Who Wants This To Happen Because Localism Is the Root Of All Evil Pt. 1

June 1, 2009

With such a slow newsday – i.e., only one major airline crash and/or disappearance (Air France); only one assassinated doctor (Tiller of KS) and only one major U.S. corporation filing for bankruptcy (GM of Detroit), I was hungry for some real meat to chew on, but could find no good sob sister Octomom-style story save Susan Boyle’s latest meltdown…and the constant nagging question, with whom will she share her story – Larry King, Barbara Walters, Oprah or George Stepanopolous?

To while away the many hours  and maybe days to that great gettin’ up in the mornin’ when Boyle boils it down for the hungry American audience, I had to content myself with Mr. Nice Guy – you know, Lou Dobbs on CNN.  Just before the top of the hour he was interviewing an anti-fairness doctrine guy named Brian Jennings who wrote a book called – maybe I don’t have this 100% correct:  “Censorship: If The Fairness Doctrine Returns, I Might Have To Hurt A Doctor” – or something like that.

His thesis was (is) as follows:  the face of the new liberal congress, Nancy Pelosi – ooh, boo, hiss, the modern day manifestation of evil, can’t have a woman like her making decisions that influence our lives – the mere mention of her name makes me want to swallow whole whatever it is that Jennings is serving up – I digress…Pelosi’s evil intent is to require radio to do local programming instead of their God and FCC-given rights to recycle tired and miserable syndicated hack hosts like Michael Savage, Gordon Liddy, etc.

Jennings rightly complains that if radio stations were actually forced to serve the communities they are located in instead of running these bartered shows with third rate Rush wannabes, these stations would go dark and we’d be in danger of losing the voices of Savage, Liddy…and lawdy lawdy awmighty…maybe even Rush hissown self on loan from God.

So remember, if that radio station in your town just runs these syndicated shows and ignores anything local, it’s their right…after all, we gave them their licenses – no charge – power, influence and the right to add to the pile of political garbage that will make them enough $$$ to keep replicated whatever the hell it is that they do.

If they go dark, what will become of this generation of humanoid humorless hucksters and raving anti-Obama opinion spinners?  Dobbs won’t let them go dark on his watch…damn the localism…it’s the great enemy of the profit centered-radio business.

Jennings is in the midst of a Bible Belt book tour and back again through the wilds of Tennessee a bunch of times, where radio will crackle with out-of-town talk will pretend to be local and we like it that way.  Otherwise, it’s censorship…just ask Jennings, who works for Citadel – the  vendor of lot of this poisoned programming, but what’s wrong with a little conflict of interest with a Lou Dobbs stamp o’approval on the line.book_image

KPFK Slanders Charlie McCarthy!

May 25, 2009

316R5GZH7EL._SL500_AA280_Sunday on Ian Masters’ “Background Briefing” on KPFK (Los Angeles), a guest – name doesn’t matter – they’re all played by Masters doing different voices – accused ex-Veep Dick Cheney of being an Edgar Bergen puppetmaster to his own Charlie McCarthy.  Bergen’s heir, Candace Bergen, a personal friend of Dan Quayle, is reportedly speaking to an attorney about this vicious smear against her father’s beloved McCarthy.

Hannity’s Sanity = Shameless Shamity

May 18, 2009

sean_hannityOnly minutes after shamelessly plugging guest Dick Morris’s new book – I believe it’s called Dickhead – Hannity stumbled into a segment in which he tries to engender laughs by parodying the President’s words – in this case, his Notre Dame speech in which Obama had the audcacity to mention the Audacity Of Hope, which Hannity called shameless – he oughta know, which is exactly what he did with Morris’s latest opus.

Rush To Assumptions

April 22, 2009

rush_limbaughFavorite radio moment was on Apr. 17.  It was about five to nine a.m. on KFI, ten minutes before Rush, when the station ran a PSA – public services announcement – a sad sounding woman who was seriously injured and/or horribly mutilated in a bad boat accident and begged boat users to be more careful…bad boat…followed by the loud jarring voice…”the Boat Show” is coming.  Boat this  KFI, a Clear Channel station.  Does Clear Channel still have traffic mgrs who are supposed to keep anomalies like this from happening…or has Clear Channel cleared out that position – proving they are Cheap Channel.

Monday, watching channel 4 news at 11, generally an hour newscast…new schedule…11:30 a.m., end of news…next show?  An infomercial…can NBC be that bad off?  Can’t wait for Klee Irwin and his bowel movement show….most ubiquitous infomercial on TV…even a dubbed-in Spanish version on channel 22…upgraded wtih photos of toilets, bloated people and the like…like we need a pic of a toilet to know what they look like.

Today on the CBS Early Show, not so Harry Smith in introducing the chief competitor to Susan Boyle – have no clue in spelling his name – alleged “Who’s Loving You” was “a Michael Jackson song.” If that’s the case, he was two years old when it was first recorded by the Miracles (Smokey’s group) as the flip to their first major hit, “Shop Around” in 1960. ..recorded by the Supremes in ’61 and finally, by the Jackson Five in ’69…not a hit in any case…hardly making it a MJ song.  Sorry Harry, bad history.  Has CBS laid off their competent fact checkers?

Speaking of absence of competence…today, Rush began ranting about Earth Day and great inventors…how no product can be bad as all products are from the planet Earth, as if there is no bad on or from the planet on which we live.  He then connected Earth Day founder Ira Einhorn with a murder (Holly Maddux in a trunk) he committed and twice pointed out the Unibomber was an environmentalist, somehow making a connection between pro enviromentalism and murder…adding on an FBI most wanted terrorist who was supposedly pro-environmental, meaning all pro-environmental folks are trunk killers and bombers.

Well, those who’ve killed abortion doctors or bombed abortion clinics are anti-choice, so per Rush’s take, all anti-choice, anti-abortion activists are killers and bombers.  All people who use guns to commit murders are gun users, thus all gun users per Rush are murderers.  Thanks Rush for clearing that up.